The Green Burial Guidebook Page 10

  As of early 2018, twelve US states consider alkaline hydrolysis a legal form of body disposition: California, Colorado, Florida, Georgia, Idaho, Illinois, Kansas, Maine, Maryland, Minnesota, Oregon, and Wyoming. Two Canadian provinces are also on board. If you prefer cremation to burial, consider choosing this more gentle and green process instead.

  Creative Cremains

  Like cremation, alkaline hydrolysis results in ashes that families must either dispose of or keep. As I mention earlier, if you want to spread a loved one’s ashes, always check the laws of the state where you want to spread the ashes. Laws vary, and it will help your closure to know you aren’t breaking any rules.

  Cremains can be buried in a backyard, in a traditional cemetery plot, or in special burial areas called EcoEternity Forests. These are burial grounds located in several states that have small placements for biodegradable urns. A family can lease a tree for their loved one and have a small plaque attached to it with an inscription for the buried remains.

  If you will be keeping the ashes, here are some creative options to consider besides the traditional ceramic or metal urn.

  Dryer Lint Urns

  When my daughter was quite small, I noticed that all our dryer lint became bright and colorful. Her girly clothing left behind something magical, and I knew I should lay it out for birds to make nests or store it away as a fire starter on camping trips. Or maybe I could give it to my funeral families to organically wrap portions of their loved one’s cremains.

  In 2010, as the fortieth anniversary of Earth Day was approaching, I decided to see if I could fabricate cremation urns out of all the lint I had set aside. I soon realized I could scoop out the clingy bits of fiber and fluff and create sustainable art.

  A local artist friend, Marliese Franklin, and I sautéed the lint in water in a large saucepan, stirring well. Slowly adding flour, we cooked my dryer dust dregs over medium heat, rousing constantly until the mixture held together, forming peaks. We then poured it out onto several layers of newspaper to cool.

  Dryer lint urns have two obvious advantages: They are environmentally friendly, as one would expect a biodegradable urn to be, and you can make them essentially for free. They are a natural demonstration of the cycle of life — we are born, we die, we replenish the Earth, and the cycle begins again — as well as a great option for anyone on a budget.

  I gave away the urns I made for free to anyone in need who wanted one, and I encourage you to try making your own, using my simple recipe:

  •3 cups dryer lint

  •2 cups warm water

  •1 cup flour

  Environmentally friendly, biodegradable urn made out of dryer lint (Photo credit: Elizabeth Fournier)

  When I ran out of my own lint, I called a local laundromat, which happily donated twenty pounds for a good cause. For families stressed by personal loss and the high costs of an average funeral, every little bit of savings can help.

  Eternal Reefs

  How about spending eternity at the bottom of the ocean? In a way, this is like burial at sea, only with cremation ashes. The Georgia-based company Eternal Reefs takes human ashes and mixes them with cement to create “reef balls.” Looking like large Whiffle balls, these cast structures are sunk offshore and become artificial reefs for fish and other marine life. Though the reef balls don’t decay, they still support a sustainable ocean, and the location of each specific reef ball in the ocean can be located using GPS.

  Bio Urns

  Several companies now offer something called a bio urn, which is a biodegradable urn that contains the seed or sapling of a tree. Customers can typically choose the tree of their choice (ideally one that will thrive in their particular location), and once planted, your or a loved one’s ashes will always be marked, not by a headstone, but by a tree.

  Note that in these products, the tree roots don’t grow directly in the dense cremains, which are usually lower in the basket. See the endnotes for resources.

  Let Your Love Grow

  As I mentioned, undiluted cremains are not healthy for plants, so the company Let Your Love Grow has solved this problem by mixing human cremation ash with a specially formulated organic mixture so that cremains can be used as planting soil. This mixture contains a very low sodium and pH content, which allows the ashes to release only nutrients that will fertilize plants.

  Sustainable Art: Rest in Pieces

  Artist Nadine Jarvis’s designs have turned cremation ashes into bird feeders, pencil boxes, and other concepts of rebirth. For one piece, Jarvis created a set of 240 pencils from human ash, cleverly called the Carbon Copies, each embossed with the name and dates of the person. A special pencil box allows only one pencil to be removed from the box at a time, and a built-in sharpener collects the pencil shavings, which really are carbon remnants of human remains. As the pencils are used, the box becomes an urn, holding the person’s remains. Of course, this isn’t an actual product you can buy, but it shows how a little creativity can lead to unique, “sustainable” remembrances of those you love.

  For instance, I know a woman who, after her fiftieth birthday, had a midlife mortality crisis. Instead of trembling and moaning, she decided to make art. She sent out word to all her family and friends: Anyone who had metal orthopedic parts, and who desired cremation, should leave those parts to her. This became her way of celebrating both their lives and life itself. Turns out, her cousin had once swallowed some tiny screws back in high school as a dare. They remained in his body at death, and yep, she now has them framed. What a wonderful way to remember him! The woman has also made wind chimes out of titanium hip replacement pieces, and she now keeps the memory of those friends alive through the songs of their “bones.”

  I also once read of a grandson who collected the metallic pieces from his grandfather’s cremated remains, polished them up, put them on a plaque, and labeled it: Grandpa. What a great conversation piece!

  Chapter 11

  A GREEN GOODBYE

  Memorials and Mementos

  This chapter speaks to those who are planning a funeral as well as to those who are guests at a funeral. Whether a burial is meant to be “green” or not, you can still make eco-friendly, sustainable choices, such as with the food served and the gifts and mementos given and shared (for more on funeral planning, see chapter 9). At some point, we all will attend a funeral for someone we know and love, so let’s make these “green good-byes.”

  Have you heard of the term “shades of green”? I like this compassionate term because it gives us permission to do the best we can without feeling that we failed for not being able to deliver a 100-percent green funeral or burial. Ultimately, I hope that this book inspires you to consider what you want your end-of-life arrangements to be and to have the “talk of a lifetime” with those you love. I hope that includes a green burial and the desire to have your send-off and final rest support natural, sustainable processes.

  Whatever you decide, start now. Express those wishes to the people who most likely will have to carry them out. Work on a plan, revise the plan, place all the details in a bright-colored notebook, and let people know where you keep that notebook. Be brave and make it happen.

  Sustainable Mourning Meals

  When people come to show their respect, they often descend upon the grieving household with their favorite prepared casserole. One way anyone can help a family in mourning is to feed them. Food is comfort, but we should ensure that the food we bring fosters sustainability as well.

  Traditionally, women prepared funeral feasts that made the day — great amounts of soup, casseroles, aspics, Virginia ham, cold cuts, potato salad, deviled eggs, pound cakes, and so on. Wakes meant lots of basic “mom is here to take care of you” food for a wearisome day. This remains true in many places, though we can revise the menu and how these buffets are managed to minimize waste. At minimum, assign someone to help sort the trash into what’s recyclable, what’s reusable, and what’s compostable. If lots of food remains by the end of the
event, and the family cannot eat it all, make sure people leave with the leftovers. Maybe even encourage your guests to bring their own take-home container if you feel this will be the case.

  If you’re planning a funeral, assign someone to coordinate food and gifts and perhaps set up a schedule for gift meals, so they arrive over time and not all at once. Some people call this a meal train, which can be emailed out as an electronic calendar. Volunteers sign up for when and what they would like to bring to the family.

  If you’re bringing food, make it healthy food made with fresh, sustainably grown ingredients — use meat from humanely raised cattle with no added hormones or antibiotics. Use fresh produce that is chemical-free, pesticide-free, and grown locally whenever possible. If you can, make homemade dishes, rather than bring store-bought ones. But if you buy prepared foods, avoid those with additives, preservatives, lard, canola oil, gluten, and trans fat. Also consider sustainable plates, bowls, flatware, and cups.

  TIP: If you want to bring a food gift, consider a big pot of nutritious soup. The family can leave it simmering on the stove and dip into it when the mood suits.

  Cut the Flowers

  Flowers can be a very large expense at funerals. A traditional casket blanket of flowers or a standing floral display can cost many hundreds of dollars. If you’re planning a funeral, some money-saving ideas include using artificial flowers or having potted plants rather than cut and arranged flowers. Or skip the flowers entirely. I have seen lovely casket toppers that didn’t use flowers at all, such as surrounding a framed photograph of the departed loved one with a wreath made from branches, ribbons, and even a favorite clothing item. I’ve seen this done with a skateboard and tennis shoes, and a cowboy could be celebrated by displaying his hat, boots, and lead rope.

  For ornamental flair and color, top the casket with a homemade or special blanket. For deceased military veterans, obtain a flag from their branch of service, and cover the casket with it. Before burial, this can be folded and presented to the next of kin.

  Another reason to avoid cut flowers is that they have a high environmental cost. Not only are many cut flowers imported from other countries (all those plane flights involve lots of greenhouse-gas emissions), but they are also laden with pesticides and are carted around in energy-guzzling refrigerated trucks and display cases. If you are a guest at a funeral, choose another way to honor the deceased than by sending an expensive floral arrangement that will, in a few days, only become landfill.

  TIP: If you are planning a funeral, ask mourners to make donations to a favorite charity in honor of the deceased rather than send floral tributes. Or ask others to plant a tree, and so honor the person’s life by fostering more life.

  Seed Cards: Plantable Thank-You Notes

  Seed cards are made from completely biodegradable natural fibers that are embedded with plantable seeds. These cards can be used a myriad of ways. I have had families use them to write thank-you notes to those who attended a memorial service or burial or as a gift for friends who went out of their way to assist in a time of need. These cards can also be used as a keepsake from the service. Some seed cards are made from recycled paper, some can be personalized, and some are shaped into remembrance ornaments. However, whatever the style, they can be kept as a keepsake or planted and cared for till the plants, often wildflowers, germinate and grow, blooming into a living memorial (see the endnotes for resources). You might consider holding a special planting ceremony, either using the seed cards or just having family and friends gather after the funeral to create a memorial garden. And don’t forget: Choose seeds for plants that are native to your region.

  Recycled-Paper Memory Cards

  Memory cards are small pieces of paper that are usually handed out to funeral guests as they enter the visitation or service, and on which everyone writes sweet thoughts and memories of the deceased loved one. Sometimes the cards are read at the service; other times they are saved to be read and shared at a later date. Either way, they create a special opportunity for people to share emotions and happy memories. For instance, I know a family who brings out the handwritten memorial tributes each Christmas when the house is full of relatives, and they take turns reading them and placing each one on the Christmas tree in honor of their grandmother.

  If you are planning a funeral, I recommend using them, and if you do, choose ones made with recycled paper and eco-friendly ink. Even memories should be sustainable!

  Biodegradable Dove Balloons

  Many times at gravesite ceremonies, mourners will release helium balloons or live doves to symbolize the freedom of the human spirit as well as the physical and emotional act of letting go of the person who has passed. Releasing balloons is a moving gesture, until of course the balloons eventually fall and become trash. For a sustainable option, use biodegradable, helium “dove” balloons, which can float for nearly twenty hours in the sky. The biodegradable material quickly breaks down with help from the sun and water (see the endnotes for resources).

  Sharing Treasures

  As they say, you can’t take it with you. Deceased loved ones leave their things behind, and these can sometimes be used as loving mementos in themselves. For instance, a dear friend of mine became a widower suddenly when his wife, Janelle, died on her way to work. Janelle’s heart gave out close to their neighborhood, and my friend found her looking peaceful in her truck, which had slowly rolled to a stop on the side of a quiet street. At her memorial service later that weekend, all the guests were instructed to choose a scarf from the collection laid out across the bed in a spare room. Janelle loved scarves, and her family felt giving away one of her favorite things was an appropriate way to honor those who were coming to pay tribute to her. At the celebration of Janelle’s life, everyone held this loving tribute, many tucked around their necks. Later, they took their precious treasure home to wear in memory of their dear, departed friend. Sustainability at its finest!

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  Thanks to...

  My mother, who was inspired by Anne Frank’s desire to breathe in nature any chance she could. In turn, she passed that gift on to me. When I was a very small child, my mother loved to read a passage written by Anne in her diary: “The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quiet, alone with the heavens, nature and God. Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be and that God wishes to see people happy, amidst the simple beauty of nature.”

  My father, who was a wonderful human, my greatest fan, and a central character in my prior books. How perfectly fitting that he slipped away from Earth while I wrote this one.

  My husband, Michael, who with the patience of a calm current holds my hand as I walk my journey, and my daughter, Sofia, who inspires me with her sense of wonder and her concern for nature’s creatures.

  My editors, Jason Gardner and Jeff Campbell, who championed my green burial passion and worked so diligently to shape my thoughts into a comprehensible guidebook.

  My literary agent, Adria Goetz, a true Proverbs 31 woman.

  And a very loving embrace to the families who are hurting due to the death of someone they love in this present moment. Please know that you are not alone.

  ENDNOTES

  Introduction

  Page 1, “Death is an integral part of life”: Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, Death: The Final Stage of Growth (New York: Touchstone, 1986), 5.

  Page 3, Green burial is a way of caring for our dead: Joe Sehee, “What Is Green Burial?” Green Burial Council, https://greenburialcouncil.org/home/what-is-green-burial.

  Chapter 1. Green Burial, the Funeral Industry, and the Environment

  Page 13, While mummification and embalming were known: K. D. Pryor, When a Loved One Dies (Ann Arbor, MI: Kaleidoscope Books, 2011), 69.

  Page 14, In the most familiar definition, a green burial means a person: “Green Funerals and Burial,” National Funeral Directors Association, http://www.nfda.org/consumer-resources/planning-a-fu
neral/green-funerals-and-burial, 2017.

  Page 14, However, there are also dedicated green cemeteries and “green burial sites”: Tanja L. Schade, “The Green Cemetery in America: Plant a Tree on Me” (master’s thesis, Evergreen State College, June 2011), http://archives.evergreen.edu/masterstheses/Accession86-10MES/Schade_TMESthesis2011.pdf.

  Page 15, A home funeral can include all of the elements of a customary funeral: Joy Jernigan, “More Families Are Bringing Funerals Home,” NBC News, September 24, 2007, http://www.nbcnews.com/id/20845739/ns/health-behavior/t/more-families-are-bringing-funerals-home.

  Page 15, “You can also find a funeral home, with a refrigeration unit”: “Choosing Green or Natural Burial,” Seven Ponds, http://www.sevenponds.com/after-death/choosing-green-burial-or-natural-burial.

  Page 19, The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention makes it clear that the average dead body: “Dead Bodies and Disease: The ‘Danger’ That Doesn’t Exist,” Funeral Consumers Alliance, January 30, 2008, https://funerals.org/embalming-myths-facts.

  Page 20, As Suzanne Kelly writes in Greening Death: “Newly trained civilian”: Suzanne Kelly, Greening Death: Reclaiming Burial Practices and Restoring Our Tie to the Earth (Lanham, MD: Rowman & Littlefield, 2015), 41.

  Page 21, After President Lincoln was assassinated, the way his body: Alvin J. Schmidt, Cremation, Embalmment, or Neither? A Biblical/Christian Evaluation (Bloomington, IN: WestBow Press, 2015).

  Page 22, Today, as Jessica Mitford illuminated in her 1963 bestseller: Richard Severo, “Jessica Mitford, Incisive Critic of American Ways and a British Upbringing, Dies at 78,” New York Times, July 24, 1996, http://www.nytimes.com/1996/07/24/arts/jessica-mitford-incisive-critic-american-ways-britishupbringing-dies-78.html.